Letter 2

Hey, Dad!
     I went to your house today. I had to go that way because I had to drop off the money order for your rent. Since you can't leave your apartment by yourself, the job of paying rent is mine. In addition, the job of paying your car payment is mine. I also have the job of scheduling your appointments, checking your medications, purchasing groceries and personal hygiene items, bathing you, and cleaning your apartment. Once the home health aide starts, I pray that some of these jobs get transferred to them. I hope I don't gain the job of firing multiple aids. All of these new responsibilities on top of all of my regular responsibilities like being a mom, early childcare teacher, and student have my head spinning.
     Today, I was angry for no reason. As I was driving home from your house, I had the road rage of an old drunk truck driver. (I'm really not sure if they have road rage, I just couldn't think of a better example.) I'm sure that people were just going the speed limit because it's the law. As I was driving, however, I was sure they were slowing down in front of me just to piss me off. They did a great job. Everyone, regardless of age, race, creed, height, or weight, could've got cussed out today. Oh man, and the happy people-those were the worst! Why are they happy? They need to go take their stupid happy selves somewhere else and be happy there. Don't be all happy around me. I know, I know. Not Godly, right? Yeah, well I'm not feeling rather Godly today. But, I'm not angry with you, dad. I'm not. I promise.
     Before I left your apartment, you said something that almost made me cry right there. You said, "Tell Cammy, I miss her." Man, you love your granddaughter. She loves you, too. That's why it's hard for her to come and see you. She wants to remember you as the strong "Paw-Paw" that would joke with her about boxing and football. She wants to remember you as the funny-story-telling Paw-Paw, not the so-weak-you-can-not-stand Paw-Paw. Regardless of how it makes her feel, she still will visit you. She will cry alone in her room, but she will still visit you. She will take the Ensure out of your refrigerator when you ask her to bring it to you. She will bring you the remote to the t.v. when you ask. She will make small talk with you. She will pray for you alone in her room. She misses you, too.
     Speaking of Cammy, I have to pick her up from work in a few minutes. Yeah, she still isn't driving. I'm gonna let her one day. But, until then, I am still her chauffeur. I'll talk to you later. Love you!
-Tina